How to heal from Trauma
Unhealed trauma stays in our body and shapes our nervous system to become more dysregulated or sensitive over time.
It starts to show up in our life as:
Anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions
Over-working or trying to remain productive
Chronic illness and inflammation in the body
restlessness and unable to rest and recover
Inability to emotionally regulate
self-limiting beliefs that keep us stuck
Need to seek validation, admiration, acceptance
Using coping mechanisms to numb or escape our reality
Attracting and unable to leave unhealthy, toxic relationships
Inability to be present and joyful
Everyone’s experience is not the same as our nervous system is unique and designed to adapt to situations we have lived and will experience. That is why healing is not linear and comparing your journey to someone else will only bring about shame and guilt. It is also counter-productive and will push your body to eventually shut down.
If you are someone who has tried therapy or other modalities and it hasn’t helped, it just means that specific type of healing did not register well with your system, it does not mean that something is wrong with you, or you will never heal, or you are ‘‘too broken’’. You are not broken and healing is possible, you just have to find what works best for you and making sure the person you work with makes you feel safe.
Below I will list the process I took and the process I take my clients on as that has shown the best results.
Recognize: You must take time to understand what trauma is and how it has impacted your nervous system. Some of us believe we don’t even have trauma (almost everyone does) or feel what we have gone through is nothing compared to others, and that can get in the way of us really getting the help we need
Regulate: Your nervous system has been shaped by your unhealed trauma and stress. Regulating your nervous system means bringing in safety so it can gently come out of survival mode.
Repair: Many of us have experienced traumatic events in our childhood and growing up, but have never learned how to process what has happened to us and the overwhelm of energy that entered our body. Understanding what happened to you, processing the stuck emotions, and practicing self-compassion, you can safely start to repair your relationship with yourself and your inner child.
Re-wire: This is where you start to look at the limiting beliefs you have acquired about yourself, relationships, and the world around you. Being able to identify the root cause of your limiting beliefs and safely re-wiring your subconsious brain to release them and create new supportive ones, will allow you to start living the life you really desire and deserve.
Reclaim: This is where you start to learn how to reclaim your life and living your truth. Gently allowing your body to expand and create space for what you desire, becoming unstuck and living will start to feel possible. The steps above don’t always have to go in that order and you will need to continue going back and forth as you uncover years of trauma.
Some people think that healing is a destination. That once you do all the work that you will finally be ‘‘all healed and done’’, but that is not how healing works. Healing is a journey and you must understand that expansion and contraction is necessary. Meaning some days will be good and you will see the fruits of your labor coming to fruition, and other days you will contract and feel as if all your hard work did nothing. This is normal and expected. Also, your nervous system needs safety, time, understanding, and compassion to be able to expand and allow you to process such traumatic moments. You will also uncover more than you thought as you heal and you don’t want to push your body to quickly heal by a certain time, that will only cause more harm to your system.
Healing is about learning to be compassionate with your self, learning how to validate your experiences, being able to make space for all emotions, accepting all parts of you, being gentle with your self, showing kindness, learning to understand your triggers and how to gently work with them, and honoring where you are at any given moment.
It’s not about being perfect or doing this work to please others. It’s about wanting to do this for yourself and finding YOUR reason as to why you want to embark on such a beautiful journey.
Remember, you are exactly where you should be and you are not broken. You have a purpose in this world and every experience you have went through and going through now, will eventually make perfect sense. As long as you do not give up on yourself then all is possible. It is never too late to start building a relationship with yourself and to start allowing yourself to go for what you deserve.
If you’re ready to take your power back, check out my Repair and Reclaim Trauma Healing Bundle for a comprehensive guide to healing, or explore my 1:1 Coaching program for personalized support on your journey. Together, we can help you break free from the chains that hold you back and reclaim your life!
